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This Weekend At The Movies | Zoolander Falls and Deadpool Rises…Kinda

“This Weekend At The Movies” is a weekly breakdown of all the movies hitting theaters. The goal is to help you know what movies will be worth your time and which ones should be delegated to Redbox. No hardcore critics here, just guys that understand what it takes to make a great film (great writers, a humble director, an experienced DP, moldable actors, just enough money, enough production time, and an army of dedicated crew members). So we are your faithful movie caddies that account for all the “movie variables” to help you know what you should see and what you should ignore.

This Weekend At The Movies | Remakes and Reruns

My fellow Americans, it is up to us to create better viewing experiences at the movies.

How, you ask. Let me explain!

By boycotting terrible excuses for cinema(see below). It is up to us to show Hollywood that half-baked ideas which are thrown together with the single motive of stealing our hard-earned dollars will not succeed anymore. We must push back the dark ages of reruns and remakes, and push forward into the promised land of new ideas and good story. Join me! Now! Welcome to YOUR WEEKEND AT THE MOVIES….#MyStumpSpeech.

But seriously, thank you for tuning in! Let’s breakdown the good news / bad news of all that is hitting a theater near you!

Zoolander 2

Director:Ben Stiller
Distributed By: Paramount Pictures
Budget: $50 million

Plotline:

When the “world’s most beautiful people” are systematically assassinated with formerly famous male model Derek Zoolander’s trademark “Blue Steel” look on their face, Interpol recruits Derek and his friend Hansel McDonald to infiltrate a new and different world of high fashion in order to put a stop to it. Meanwhile, Derek’s rival Jacobim Mugatu is set free and is seeking revenge.

Bottomline:

There are some movies which NEVER needed a sequel i.e. Dumb and Dumber, Anchorman, and Paul Blart Mall Cop. Trying to take what was originally a ridiculous concept and stretch it into multiple iterations only creates half-baked storylines destined to bore. And Zoolander is no exception.

Ben Stiller and friends decided they wanted to take a trip to Rome and so they hatched a script and took a vacation. The movie smells of Happy Madison mixed with Anchorman 2, which works only 2% of the time…every time.

The reality is that this movie never should have been made. Hollywood is grasping at straws! This is made evident by throwing 50 million dollars at a movie that should have cost 28 million(The original film’s budget). I beg you don’t go see this movie! Our future depends on it. Let’s make Hollywood great again….

Rating:Redbox

Deadpool

Director:Tim Miller(Directorial Debut)
Distributed By: 20th Century Fox
Budget: $58 million

Plotline:

A former Special Forces operative(Ryan Reynolds) turned mercenary is subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers, adopting the alter ego Deadpool.

Bottomline:

For the first time in a long time, I’m torn.

As I pick apart the team behind this movie there is very little to be confident about. Ryan Reynolds never ceases to make sub par movies, the director has, well, never directed…anything, and the writing team wrote G.I. Joe: Retaliation. #SMH

From the looks of the script and Fabian Nicieza’s original comic, Deadpool will be V for Vendetta but in comedy form. Ok, throw in tons of blood, sex, and language and now you have Deadpool.

Here’s the positive side: Deadpool is the superhero movie you have never seen before. The movie is half comedy half kicking ass! Also, Ryan Reynolds was made to play this character. Deadpool is crass, funny, and self-deprecating in a way that only Ryan Reynolds could pull off!

Thus, I am at a crossroads. For the first time in a long time I don’t know. For certain Deadpool will be fun, fast paced, crude, sexual, and 100% adult oriented in content.

David Edelstein of Vulture said, “It’s(Deadpool) meant to elasticize and enhance the superhero genre, to flatter the audience for being hip enough to get all of those in-jokes. And I was flattered.”

So I’ll leave you with this: comic book heads and superhero enthusiasts not scared of strong language and nudity this movie is FOR YOU! Go, enjoy, and be merry! For the rest of us, I’m leaning toward Redbox.

Rating:Redbox

  • Acdiel Alvarez

    Deadpool was definitely an experience!