Don’t Do That Bro | Tired & Ready To Go

Dear Bro,
I am a 20 year old who is considering leaving home. I’ve lived with my parents for a while now, and as you can imagine, it’s time for me to leave. The money to move isn’t available right now, but, I’m working towards raising the money to ultimately leave, through working and other avenues. Do you have any advice on how to speed up this process? Thanks.


Tired, and ready to go.

Dear Tired and ready to go,

As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” So I applaud you for thinking through your next steps ahead of time. There are two issues that stick out to me based on your bromail. The first is the time frame in which you are trying to leave and the other is how you plan on raising capital for your move.

You might be in a rush to break out but do you have savings to cover two to four months of your current bills including your possible rent? So if your bills plus possible rent amount to $800, you need to have $1600 to $3200 saved. This savings will serve as a buffer against any unforeseen mishap such as losing your job or becoming injured which may affect your ability to work. Don’t forget to factor into your bills the cost of gas, electricity, water, garbage service, and possibly for a parking space, if you move into an apartment. Also, your monthly income needs to be along the same lines. Your income should be at least double your bills. Living check to check is not a win. Once your job is solid and your savings goal is reached, proceed to Ikea.

Now to address your “other avenues” statement. If your other avenues involve becoming a part of a male review, selling medical marijuana, or joining a sugar daddy website, slap yourself. But if “other avenues” include becoming a rapper, a record producer, or going to “the league,” slap yourself with both hands, at the same time, until you fall unconscious. Once you wake up, proceed with a different plan.

No quick fix can replace hard work and being patient. If your parents are willing to front you some cash to make the move, consider that. If speeding up the process involves making quick, irrational decisions, don’t do that bro. Work hard and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Don’t be in rush to leave the nest only to have to share a one-bedroom apartment with three other guys. I understand that sometimes entrance into the man club includes launching out on your own but be wise and strategic with the moves you make.

Tired and ready to go, I realize that I have not offered a way in which to speed up your process but sometimes good things come to those who save or who have rich parents. If your folks aren’t ballers, I wouldn’t be in a rush to leave until your money is right. If your back is against the wall, do what you have to do. If not, enjoy that free home cooking just a little while longer. Free food, free cable, free hot water, Do That Bro!

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Jon A. Parker, MAMFT
Counselor. Life Coach. Social Provocateur.

JP is a professional side kick. He enjoys riding motorcycles, globe trotting, and collecting pint glasses. Jon is a licensed counselor, a marriage and family therapist, and life coach. He also moonlights as a branding consultant and dabbles in artist management. Jon strongly believes that self care i.e. vacations and massages are keys to longevity and creative thinking. Jon is passionate about social justice and improving the human condition across the globe. #WESHALLOVERCOME